Essential Tips for First-Time Wedding Officiants

Essential Tips for First-Time Wedding Officiants

So, you’ve been asked to officiate a wedding for the first time? That’s a pretty big deal! In Massachusetts, a friend or family member needs a One-Day Marriage Designation. As a filmmaker who’s been part of hundreds of weddings (seriously, I’ve lost count), I’ve seen more and more couples choosing someone close to them, a best friend, sibling, or favorite cousin, to officiate their big day. It’s such a personal touch and honestly, one of my favorite trends in the wedding world. Some of my favorite ceremonies were led by family, like John’s sister at Kaylee and John’s wedding and Vinnie’s sister at Stephanie and Vinnie‘s.

At one point, my husband and I even considered having my little brother officiate our wedding. We loved the idea of having someone so special help us tie the knot. But for those first-time officiants, it can feel a little intimidating. What do you say? When do you say it? And most importantly, how do you keep things smooth and memorable?

If you’re stepping up to officiate a wedding for the first time, here are some tips to help you nail it.

First-Time Officiant Tip #1: Unplugged Ceremony. Yes or No?

Let’s talk about the unplugged ceremony trend. You’ve probably seen those adorable signs that kindly ask guests to put away their phones and cameras during the ceremony. They’re great in theory, but here’s the truth: most guests will walk right by them without a second glance. So, as the officiant, one of your first jobs is to let people know what the couple prefers, before the ceremony begins.

If the couple is going unplugged, make a quick announcement before the bride walks down the aisle. Something like, “The couple kindly asks that you put away your phones and cameras to be present in this moment with them.” It’s simple but powerful. Trust me, as someone who’s spent hours editing around Aunt Betty’s iPad, I can tell you it makes a world of difference for the photographers and videographers capturing the day.

On the flip side, if the couple is okay with guests snapping photos, go ahead and mention that too—but be sure to remind them not to step into the aisle or stretch their phones out like selfie sticks. No one wants a blocked view of that magical moment when the bride walks down the aisle!

First-Time Officiant Tip #2: Don’t Forget to Tell Guests to Sit!

It seems like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how often this happens. Picture this: the couple walks down the aisle, the ceremony begins, and the officiant gets caught up in the moment… but no one remembers to tell the guests to sit down. What happens next? Well, everyone stands for the whole ceremony, and that can lead to some awkward (and uncomfortable) situations.

This not only makes it harder for everyone to see the couple exchange vows, but it can also throw off the photographers and videographers trying to capture those important moments. As the officiant, after welcoming the guests, take a beat and simply say, “Please be seated.” It’s a small gesture, but it makes a huge difference in helping everyone relax and get ready to witness the magic.

First-Time Officiant Tip #3

Step Aside for the Kiss

This one might seem minor, but it’s a big deal for wedding photos. Once the couple is pronounced married and it’s time for that first kiss as newlyweds, step aside. Trust me on this! I’ve filmed so many sweet moments where the officiant stands directly behind the couple, staring awkwardly as they kiss. That’s not the vibe anyone’s going for, right?

When you pronounce them as married, give the couple the spotlight. Literally. Step aside so the photographer can capture that picture-perfect moment without you photobombing the shot. After all, you want that kiss photo hanging on their wall, not a snapshot of you smiling proudly in the background!

Bonus Tip: Take a Breath and Enjoy the Moment

One last thing: don’t forget to breathe and have fun! Officiating a wedding is an incredible honor, and the couple chose you because they believe you’re the perfect person to lead them through this moment. Speak from the heart, enjoy the experience, and don’t worry if things don’t go perfectly. Weddings are about love and connection, and your genuine presence will make the ceremony unforgettable.

So, first-time officiants, you’ve got this! With these simple tips, you’ll help create a smooth, beautiful, heartfelt ceremony. And who knows? You might even be asked to do it again someday!

Giving a toast too? Here’s how to write a heartfelt wedding toast.

Couples, send this to your officiant, then grab my wedding week checklist for everything else.